As women we have a stigma around if we are not in a relationship or married, something must be wrong with us. We are conditioned from an early age to look for the prince/princess who will save us from singleness. I think with this new generation of kids growing up we may see less and less of marriages and more alternative lifestyles. But still I feel there is this push to be in a relationship. I dislike the question I get asked sometimes, "have you met someone?" My response is "don't you think if I met someone that would be the first thing coming out of my mouth?" See even I am prone to reaction. Let me tell you no one single wants to hear that question. It's uncomfortable and makes you feel like something is wrong with you because you are not in a relationship. As if that's the one thing lacking in your life that will complete you.
I am actually very happy being single. I don't have to compromise what I want to do. I get to do what ever I want to do when ever I want to do it. There is a freedom within being single that is really rewarding, that is not to say I would not want to be in a relationship. But I do not want to be in a relationship just to be in one. When I look around me at other people's relationships I think to myself I'm so glad I'm single I would never want to be in that relationship putting up with that stuff.
Through the years as I've gotten older, I have also refined what I want and don't want in a relationship. I am much more selective and know my worth and feel it's worth waiting for. I have faith I will be in a relationship again, so I am focusing on having fun and doing the things I enjoy. When the time is right our worlds will collide.
I think the greatest gift you can give to yourself is in between relationships give yourself at least 1-2 years of being single. In doing this, you have time to do whatever you want to do without having to compromise anything. You can spend time with your friends, join groups, play sports, the sky is the limit. Also you have time to reflect on your past relationship(s) and see the patterns, issues, or things you want to change in yourself for the next relationship. And the things you compromised in the last relationship, that you will not compromise in the next. This time alone gives you an opportunity to strengthen your character and really focus on what you need and want. Remember you cannot change another person…EVER! and why would you want to. All you can change and are responsible for is you, that being said you always have choices. When you are ready to get back out there, be selective and hold true to your values and worth and come from an authentic place within yourself. Why would you want to date or be in a relationship with someone who does not hold the same values as you, want the same things or that you feel you have to be someone else to get them. That’s not a good start to any relationship. You are awesome never settle for less!