What are the key mixtures for a successful relationship? Let me start with any relationship you are in can be successful for what you need to learn from them, unfortunately not all relationships are meant for the long haul. Luckily, we do not need to stay in a marriage or relationship that is unfulfilling, controlling, or abusive. We do have choices every day in how we attract, participate in, and maintain a relationship for better or for worse.Read More
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” – Tony Robbins
We all have dreams, ideas, and goals we want to accomplish or hope to accomplish in this year or at least in this lifetime. Whether that be a bucket list of things you want to do before you die or projects you want to finally get completed and off your dream board.
Procrastination and self-sabotage go hand in hand as hidden blocks that continually gets in the way and is made one choice at a time. Let's start with the Merriam-Websters definition of procrastination - "to be slow or late about doing something that should be done: to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, because you are lazy, etc."
I would like to extend procrastination to fear of actually getting what it is you want, so you use distraction to put off what you need to do. This is a form of self-sabotage by putting it off you delay what you want to bring to you, if you eliminate it all together.
Every moment of every day you make choices to do things that are in alignment to what you desire and out of alignment to what you desire. For example, I'm writing a book and I have a list of how much of the book I am going to write each day. When I wake up I have gotten in the habit of writing, but I could easily choose to binge watch TV instead. And when I started writing the book that's exactly what I did. It took time and discipline to change that bad habit of procrastination of not writing to now actually writing everyday.
The truth is most of us want rewards for our efforts straight away and when we don't see results we give up. Making the choice to step into what you want is just as easy as making a choice to step away from what you want. The real problem lies in if you keep making choices that take you away from what you want over time the dream becomes less and less. The answer is create a different habit and in time with structure and discipline you can make better choices that don't take you down the rabbit hole of procrastination.
When I started writing my book in January 2016 which was off to a slow sporadic start. I begin my process by making choices that took me away from writing everyday. I would watch my TV shows, hang out with friends, and do everything but getting my butt in the chair and writing. Over time it was creating anxiety, distrust in myself, feelings of discouragement and lacking confidence. It wasn't until the summer that I had a friend offer to edit the book, but only had a pocket of time available. I was finally thrusted into finishing up the book so I could have her help. Sometimes to get moving I need a fire lit under my ass. But again that's a choice I could have sabotaged that event by not getting the book completed and losing out on the editing opportunity by my friend. Instead I took it as good fortune and did what I needed to do to get it completed.
I'm in the final revising stage and have consistently gotten my butt in the chair every morning since then. This took time to work on choices that would lead me to completion not further from it. I became disciplined and structured with my time finding my flow. If you are struggling with procrastination needing focus and structure here are my 5 tips to breaking this bad habit of procrastination.
1. Pick 1-3 items that you would like to complete
Have passion or desire in what you are choosing to accomplish otherwise you will slowly loose steam. The reason I say 1-3 is I myself need versatility and do not do well focusing on one thing I need to have at least three projects going for me to feel successful. If you are better with one thing at a time that's what's right for you. Really half the battle is deciding what it is you want!! If you're going to have three items make sure one is a bigger project and the other two may be smaller projects.
For example, here are my three projects to date
- Write and Publish a Book
- Read a book a month
- Master Class Certification - Astrology
2. Break down each item from start to finish of what you need to do
Take a piece of paper and put on the heading the project you want to complete. Then free flow all the items you feel need to be done to complete the project. This is actually the fun part because you probably have all these ideas stored in your head and now you can finally download it onto paper. It gives you a sense that now you know exactly what is needed to complete this project and you've already taking your first step to get there.
3. Decide on a deadline of completion
Remember be realistic and give yourself the time needed to get the project done with success not scrambling. I would actually add a month to your deadline for things that may come up, because if you get it done before the due date...Good for YOU!
4. Ever Sunday write your To Do list for the week
I have 7-10 items on my list with some of the items being feed the cat, make bed, brush teeth. This list is to help you be accountable to what you need to get done. Here's my list for one of my days.
- Julia Roberts
- Write a description of their Sun-Moon Blend
- Read pages 393-404
- Finish Editing chapter 10
- Feed cat
- make bed
- Grab food for friends get together
- dinner at Erica's
- make coffee for tomorrow
This list allows for the smaller items of a project to be given a day to do them, so over time the bigger list gets smaller and smaller every day. Once you've completed the item take it off the list.
5. Be kind to yourself it takes time
As you are stretching your action and accountability muscles it takes practice, practice, practice. So be kind to yourself and stick to your lists, even if you don't get everything done maybe shorten it so you can feel accomplishments. If you stick to it over time you will be amazed at how many things you are getting done as well as goals you are now checking off your list. Life is a process and as long as you show up every day you will succeed and let's face it, YOU ARE A SUCCESS right here right now!
When it comes to attracting a mate we must first look at what we need and want from a relationship. First you have to understand yourself before picking a partner to really figure out who would be the best match for you. Here are some things to look for in your own chart to find out what you want and what you need in a relationship.Read More
I thought I would write a blog on better communication, since I have noticed that most people struggle to be heard or really understood and can walk away from a conversation feeling frustrated and alone. The unfortunate part is as children we were not taught how to have a "deep" conversation and what that really looks like and feels like. Some of us were told to be quiet and only speak when spoken to. Others were not giving a filter to conversations. And most of us were told to share our stories as someone is sharing theres, what looks like a tennis match of story telling where no one is really listen, just wanting for their turn to share.Read More
A while back I was doing a yogi training to deepen my practice and was looking to cultivate some new friends at the studio I go to. In my mind I thought I needed to be a bigger personality and step out of my more introverted comfort zone and "pretend" to be an extrovert by being friendly and open. When I walked into the studio to begin the first of several classes in the training, there was a group of women all sitting in the corner, so I thought I would come over say HELLO and start a conversation. I proceeded over to them said my GRAND hello and got blank stares and really had to pull teeth to get them to talk. I walked away frustrated and feeling a little down. Later upon reflection I realized I wasn't being my true self, instead I created someone I am not. Was that being authentic?
The next class I came back and sat down by one of the women that I always see in class but never talked to. I decided to have a more engaging one on one conversation, which turned out to be a delight. I'm much better one on one then in large groups, so what was I thinking? Sometimes it takes an experience of what we don't want to bring us back to what we do and how to go about getting it.
This is where your Sun Sign comes in to illuminate your authentic self at the most basic level. The Sun represents our individuality, soul purpose, happiness, and the hero we are to become in this lifetime. I have writen down all 12 sun signs giving their positive reflections as well as hidden shadows. This alone can help you align back to who you are when you have gone astray.
Sun in Aries - Shines when they are number one! They are happiest when they are trailblazing something new and leading the way. They are dynamic, enterprising, and ambitious. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being active, self-sufficient, and independent. Though dear Aries you will need to watch out for when you become too forceful and aggressive as well as thinking the only opinion that matters is yours.
Sun In Taurus - Shines when you are perceiving the world through your physical senses! You are happiest when you have stability, patience and practicality. You are steadfast, peaceful and security conscious. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being artistic, affectionate, and nature loving. Though dear Taurus you will need to watch out for when you become too stubborn and set in your ways fearing any change to your security.
Sun in Gemini - Shines when you are articulate, entertaining and curious about all that life has to offer! You are happiest when they are learning something new that you can share with others. You are bright, clever, and witty. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are able to move quickly with flexibility and dexterity. Though dear Gemini you will need to watch out for having so many different ideas that never really go anywhere.
Sun in Cancer - Shines when you feel safe and comfortable and have emotional security! You are happiest when you are home with your family. You are intuitive, sensitive, and compassionate. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being domestic, nurturing and sympathetic . Though dear Cancer you will need to watch out for when you become too sensitive taking everything personally.
Sun in Leo - Shines when you are recognized, appreciated, and honored for being you! You are happiest when in the spotlight ruling the roost. You are motivated to express your self with creativity and passion. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being magnanimous, loving and adventurous. Though dear Leo you will need to watch out for when you take up all of the spotlight the lesson is to share some of it with others.
Sun in Virgo - Shines when you are perfecting and correcting! You are happiest when you are expressing and understanding things accurately. You are analytical, discriminating, and improving. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being productive, of service to others, and clever. Though dear Virgo you will need to watch out for when you become too critical, perfectionistic, and nitpicking of others.
Sun in Libra - Shines when you are liked, popular, and feeling attractive! You are happiest when you are sociable, friendly, and fair. You are diplomatic, logical and have a talent for mediating. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are in harmonious relationships and creating balance. Though dear Libra you will need to watch out for when you compromise what you need and want for the sake of the relationship.
Sun in Scorpio - Shines when you are in control and self-sufficient! You are happiest when you are courageous, deep, and powerful. You are insightful, penetrating, and protective. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being mysterious, passionate, and transforming. Though dear Scorpio you will need to watch out for when you become emotionally manipulative and possessive of the ones you love.
Sun in Sagittarius - Shines when you are respected for your opinions and listened to above all else! You are happiest when traveling and given a lot of freedom. You are honest, philosophical, and truth seeking. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are aligned with your higher ideals or beliefs. Though dear Sagittarius you will need to watch out for when you become too evangelistic and preachy not recognizing that others have opinions as well and they may differ from yours.
Sun in Capricorn - Shines when you are able to make things happen and show your leadership talents and strengths! You are happiest when working towards climbing the corporate latter to success. You are ambitious, practical, and responsible. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being self-respecting, organized, and independent. Though dear Capricorn you will need to watch out for when you become overambitious and penny-pinching.
Sun in Aquarius - Shines when you are socially significant and yet unique! You are happiest when you are contributing to a social cause and pursuing the idea of personal freedom. You are visionary, humanistic, and progressive. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are sharing your work and vision for a better world. Though dear Aquarius you will need to watch out for when you become too rebellious for your own good which will create separation and isolation from others.
Sun in Pisces - Shines when you are respected for your sensitivity and idealism! You are happiest when you are free to dream, intuit, and be connected to all things. You are compassionate, loving, and healing. Your authentic self shines brightest when you are being romantic, self-sacrificing, and empathetic. Though dear Pisces you will need to watch out for when you escape your reality living in the fantasy.
This is giving you a glimpse of your authentic possibilities, for more in-depth interpretations please contact me and set up an appointment today!
Taking the first step is always the hardest and it requires us to do something different then what we've done before. Whatever it is you are looking to create whether that be a trip, a job, a relationship, or more peace in your life everything starts with a clear vision.
Step 1: What do you want to Create? Clarity of Vision
Once you make your decision of what you want to create the first step is to see it, breathe it, and feel it. Grab a couple of pieces of paper and write on the top what the dream is. And then free flow everything you want to create around that dream. If for example you want to create a relationship you would write all the qualities you want in a mate. Be specific: looks, height, age, do they like animals, what shows would you watch together, what activities would you do together? What do they do for a living? What kinds of clothes do they wear? What music do they listen to? What types of friends do they have? Start seeing them over at your place, laying on your coach, or cooking in your kitchen? Act as if they are already in your life.
If your dream is to create a business, do you work from home or have an office? Do you have employees? What is your product or service? Who are your clients? What do they look like? Are they men, women, or both? What's the age range of your clientele? What types of services do you provide? How much time do you spend with your clients?
Why is clarity of vision important? Because if you don't see it, it will be hard to create it. After you write all the details that were in your head about your dream, then take out another piece of paper and summarize the vision in the present tense as if you already have received it. Next, read it twice a day when you wake up in the morning and right before you go to bed so your dream is always on your mind.
Step 2: Put a date for completion
It's important to be working towards what it is you are wanting to attract as well as making a date for success. That way when you start working on your to do list you are backing yourself into the due date to set you off to a good start.
Step 3: Make a Mental Download
This is where you write everything you need to do or take actions on towards your goal or dream. Let's say you want to create a relationship. You would write down:
- What social groups could I join where I might meet someone
- community center
- local paper for events in town
- sports team
- Join a dating website or mobile app
- Plenty of Fish
- I might want to update my appearance
- get some new clothes
- get a haircut
- start an exercise routine if you don't have one
- anything to make you feel good about presenting yourself
- take some photos of myself
- Communicate to my community of friends I'm looking for a mate
By telling your friends you're available and what you are looking for they can be on the look out as well. You never know who knows your future mate so keep positive and always be pleasant to the people you meet.
This should be the fun part thinking about your dream in detail and getting out what's going on in your head so you don't worry about forgetting something. You can always revisit this and add or delete things as you get more information.
Step 4: Start making the To Do Lists
This is where you start breaking down timelines for each item and when it needs to get done by. If we were talking about a trip to Ireland we know exchanging money would be the last thing we would really need to do besides packing but some of the other items may be more time sensitive. If we were talking about a relationship we might need to join some new social group activities. I would suggest with dating make sure you are trying multiple things not just online. Then the exciting part is once it's done you can cross it off your list and watch as that list eventually will grow smaller and smaller. You may need to revise your list and add things as they come.
Here's an example back to the Relationship
Week 1 - WEEK DATE
- Research online dating sites and costs
- Join Meetup.com (free) and start working on my profile
- Get an updated photo of me
- Post a couple different photos
NOTE: Don't pick a photo of 10 years ago when you looked your best that will not help you keep a date just like you wouldn't want someone to do that to you. There is nothing worse then meeting someone who does not look like their photo. It's deceptive.
Week 2 - WEEK DATE
- Start joining some groups on meetup and making a commitment to attend one a week
Remember you can change groups if you're not liking the turnout potential, but keep in mind you are also practicing your social skills and getting more comfortable talking with people. This could be a practice for the real thing.
- Schedule hair appointment
- Go shopping for some new outfits - have fun and get creative!!
- Join one dating site for 3 months or longer
- update profile
- select photos to use
I think you get the point.
Step 5: Get into Action with one thing
Get into action every day with one thing that can move you forward towards your dreams. You can do this if you get stuck re-read your summary of the dream to remind you why you want this! Keep your head up and use visualization to lead the way to success.
If there's something you would like to get into action with - give me a call to make an appointment today!
With Mercury retrograde this month I have been astounded at how many people lack the social skill of communication. With life today being the hustle and bustle of "busyness" running here and running there, I've noticed that people look down more than they look up to who or what is right in front of them.
Last week, I was early to my yoga class. I entered the quiet studio, set down my mat, and was getting ready to lie down in peacefulness before class. Then a woman on her cell phone, which was on speaker, burst into the studio to lay down her mat while full blown into her conversation thinking nothing of the people who were decompressing quietly from their day. There seems to be a lack of awareness or social etiquette in todays world. We have lost how to communicate to those around us and wonder why we feel so disconnected and lonely. What's funny is, this phenomenon has become the "norm". Have we forgotten the importance of human interaction? Missing opportunities to connect to people that are right there in front of us? Has communication become the forgotten art form?
If anything this Mercury Retrograde which, signifies issues of communication and delays, has taught me, is to slow down and look up and notice my life right in front of me. As for communication my message to you is life is too short and if you don't take time to nurture those relationships around you, the time may pass you by. With Prince's death coming as such a surprise, I realize we may never get that chance to say how we feel or tell someone we love them. Seize the moment now and call someone you love and tell them how much they mean to you. Practice putting down your phone to say hi to the people walking by and listen when someone is reaching out to connect with you. You never know what you may receive as a gift in that moment if you're paying attention.